Disco Saves!

No, Disco is not alive again, but it may just save your life. A recent study found that the rhythm and beat from Stayin Alive is nearly perfect for the 107 beats per minute you are supposed to now use to perform CPR.

Better yet, they are now saying you do not have to stick your mouth on the other guy to perform the breathing part… just keep the heart pumping.

So get out your BeeGees and start to practice… it just may save a life.

HEADLINES – Welcome Jesus H. Shark?

First it was the amoeba.
Then it was the Virgin Mary.
Finally it was Shmee, mother of Anikan Skywalker…

Or so we thought. It seems Virgin births… or Asexual reproduction as it is called in science is not limited to the parties above any longer. Who are the new Virgin Birthers?

Sharks!

That’s right. There are now two confirmed cases of female sharks giving birth to “Pups” with no fathers or male DNA material at all. This shows that in extreme situations Females can reproduce at will…

Two thoughts on this:
One. What a strange conversation that has to be with your Mom when you aks who your father is. Plus both shark pups were male, so you know they are going to have their asses kicked at school.

Second, If sharks can do this at will, why not human women. It would really take some of the pressure of us guys.

Final thought... are we sure there was no Male DNA intruduced from another species...? I mean.. some of those sharks are damn sexy.

EDITORIAL - That’s a huge ASH!

In London, the health department is working to keep folks from starting to smoke. Since the little written warning on the packs do not seem to be enough, they have moved to something more aggressive.

Next time you go to light up, your favorite pack of smokes may have a picture of a tumor, an enlarged heart, or a picture like the one above warning you in full color the damaging effects.

My thoughts… Folks who want to smoke will still smoke. These adds will not reduce smoking, but may certainly reduce your appetite.

Side note: Maybe Viagra can find a new market share among Flacid Smokers.

EDITORIAL – Eat me raw!

So it seems with all the fad diets out there, yet another one has reared it’s ugly head. The “RAW” diet consists of eating only natural raw foods like veggies and nuts. You know, the stuff rabbits and squirells eat.

No meat, no processed foods, or in the case of the MC RIB no processed-meat food.

I will say as far as diets go, you gotta love a diet with so much joke potential. Between the using the word raw in a “raw” way and clips of NUTS AND BERRIES, this one kicks “South Beach Diet’s” ass hands down.

That’s all for now… I have a juicy rare steak on an open pit flame with some bacon and grilled onions waiting for me.

SIDE NOTE: Please be aware that although I refer to this as the diet of Bunnies and other small woodland animals, this diet will not produce a small bushy tail.

REPORT – Kenosha featured in national news!

For those who do not know I live in Kenosha were a helicopter crashed into a home Sunday. I live about ½ a mile from the accident that left the two passengers in the chopper dead, but surprisingly did not injure the 5 folks in the house at the time of the accident.

The copter came in through the roof in the back of the home, and in proper etiquette left the home through the front door, leaving a wake of debris and fuel as local firefighters fought off the flames which did not ignite the home.

I just think of being one of the 3 kids in the house come Monday morning at school.

“What did you do this weekend Timmy?”
I played soccer!
“Suzie?”
I went to the park.
“Billy?”
A huge fucking helicopter crashed in my house! Beat that a-holes!

EDITORIAL – Damn you Optimus Prime!

While most of you will always think of September 11th as the day the World Trade Center fell, it has a new stigma. It is now the day the Hadron Collider, meant to prove the existence of dark matter, creation of the universe, etc.., failed after only 24 hours of operation. And why did this billion dollar device fail? Because the transformer meant to cool the unit failed causing temperatures to rise both in the tunnel and among the scientists alike.

Do not fear though… just as there will be a sequel to the transformers movie, so will there be a new transformer allowing the inevitable destruction at the hands of the Hadron Collider in the near future.

PODCAST - Episode 2 now available

IN at 1 hour and 19 minutes... Podcast 2 is sure to please.

Or perhaps piss you off.

Either way, I'm ok with it.

Click on the Podcasts link to download.