Friday, October 17, 2008

Disco Saves!

No, Disco is not alive again, but it may just save your life. A recent study found that the rhythm and beat from Stayin Alive is nearly perfect for the 107 beats per minute you are supposed to now use to perform CPR.

Better yet, they are now saying you do not have to stick your mouth on the other guy to perform the breathing part… just keep the heart pumping.

So get out your BeeGees and start to practice… it just may save a life.

Friday, October 10, 2008

HEADLINES – Welcome Jesus H. Shark?

First it was the amoeba.
Then it was the Virgin Mary.
Finally it was Shmee, mother of Anikan Skywalker…

Or so we thought. It seems Virgin births… or Asexual reproduction as it is called in science is not limited to the parties above any longer. Who are the new Virgin Birthers?


That’s right. There are now two confirmed cases of female sharks giving birth to “Pups” with no fathers or male DNA material at all. This shows that in extreme situations Females can reproduce at will…

Two thoughts on this:
One. What a strange conversation that has to be with your Mom when you aks who your father is. Plus both shark pups were male, so you know they are going to have their asses kicked at school.

Second, If sharks can do this at will, why not human women. It would really take some of the pressure of us guys.

Final thought... are we sure there was no Male DNA intruduced from another species...? I mean.. some of those sharks are damn sexy.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

EDITORIAL - That’s a huge ASH!

In London, the health department is working to keep folks from starting to smoke. Since the little written warning on the packs do not seem to be enough, they have moved to something more aggressive.

Next time you go to light up, your favorite pack of smokes may have a picture of a tumor, an enlarged heart, or a picture like the one above warning you in full color the damaging effects.

My thoughts… Folks who want to smoke will still smoke. These adds will not reduce smoking, but may certainly reduce your appetite.

Side note: Maybe Viagra can find a new market share among Flacid Smokers.