Friday, April 10, 2009

Something completely Random

I was on today, when I looked at my task bar and saw the following:

Seems CNN is more then just world news...
News and ANAL... SWEET.

Dungeons and Dragons co-creator dies

Excerpt from CNN.COM

David Lance Arneson, who helped trigger the global phenomenon of role-playing games as co-inventor of "Dungeons & Dragons," has died at the age of 61.

A statement on the game's official Web site,, said Arneson died Tuesday evening "after waging one final battle against cancer."

Arneson "developed many of the fundamental ideas of role playing: that each player controls just one hero, that heroes gain power through adventures, and that personality is as important as combat prowess," the statement said.

The game's co-creator, Gary Gygax, died last year.

In 1974, Arneson and Gygax created "Dungeons & Dragons," which allowed players to assume roles in a magical world. They could be fighters or wizards, elves or dwarfs.

"As characters journey through various lands, they search for hidden treasures while battling menacing monsters with their own brains and brawn," a description on says.

Some games would last days or weeks -- or even longer. "Game campaigns are as limitless as the player's imaginations," says.

What began as a hand-assembled print run of 1,000 games quickly sold out. Young people all over the world started buying up the game. By 1982, sales broke the $20 million mark.

SIDE NOTE: In the battle against cancer, not even David's Cancer Slaying Knife, with a +6 against cancer could defeat the ever powerful natural 20 dealt by the deadly fiend.

SIDE SIDE NOTE: David already announced from heaven, he is rolling up a new character, an elf names Hizzerbogs.

People for the elaborate tribulations of assholes.

Or as I like to call it, “are these guys and girls fucking retarded or what?‘
OK, let me say I am not for terrible treatment of animals. I eat meat but I don’t run around with a shovel smashing cats…. Any more.

Anyway, I think PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals) has finally lost their minds… Recently they asked the musical group, Pet Shop Boys, to change their name to the Rescue Shelter Boys to bring awareness to the poor conditions of animals held in pet shops…

This after the recently files a campaign to change the name of fish to “Sea Kittens” in the idea that people would not like to sink a hook into something called a Sea Kitten.

Seriously? Are these people for real? We are a society that could give a rats ass what something is called, or even if it is cute, as long as we can eat it or get it cheap…

I think people need to realize a few facts about animals…
1, they are food in most cases.
2, if not for animal testing we would not have many procedures and drugs that save HUMAN lives everyday.
3, If they are not willing to stand up for themselves, raise an army, and attack the human oppressors, FUCK THEM.

The Pet Shop Boys declined to change their name but posted the note on their website to bring “awareness” to the plight of the animals… and to PETA… in all their retarded monkey madness.

Side note: RATT will be changing their name to “Cuddly Rodents.” That is if they ever book another gig on Planet Earth.

Breaking Wind

The land speed record for a “sail” driven vehicle was broken recently by the Greenbird, a fiber composite vehicle that clocked at 125 MPH on the dry desert beds of Nevada.

The Greenbird, driven only by wind power is touted as part sail boat, part airplane, and part formula 1 car, and proves there is an effective method to harness wind power…

Assuming road lanes are 15 feet wide, there is a strong breeze, and you never drive with more than yourself and a coke can…

Side Note: Where the hell do you park this… One good breeze and it will end up 20 miles from your house.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Death of a salesman

In a recent one man show, Kirk Douglas (92) , takes stock of his life, career, his stroke… and more…

The show, a retrospective, covers such heartwarming topics like when he changed his name, the birth of his children, and his expansive film work.

Following the show I had an opportunity to talk to Mr. Douglas. Here is an excerpt of the article which will appear later this month in IDIOT magazine.

Idiot: So now that you have wrapped your show, what are your thoughts about the performance?

KD: Who are you?

Idiot: Having reflected on your life, if you could go back in time and change a single thing, what would it be?

KD: I don’t know, maybe not have a stroke… Then I would not have to make the show less than an hour to avoid shitting myself.

Idiot: What are your plans for the future?

KD: What time is it? 11:30PM? I am going to go have breakfast. Tomorrow, maybe die… We will have to wait and see.

Idiot: Thank you for your time Mr. Douglas.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Things that make me cry

This is a segment I call, “Things that make me cry” episode 1

I can easily admit that there are some things that make me cry. I consider myself a man’s man… I work with my hands, did construction, love technology, war, tits, and more…

But all that said there are still some things that make me cry. To better know me, let me help you understand the things that make an Idiot cry: Episode 1

War movies – You can take every sappy moment in every romantic comedy and never get a single tear from my eyes… but show me a half dozen men in the thick of battle, knowing they may never live to see another day, and look at each other knowing the can trust in their comrades, fueled by dignity and honor… and I weep. This is why I love war films. In the middle of some of the most inhumane circumstances, we find the best of human nature.

Special Picks: - Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan.

Moments of Great Sacrifice – It may be watching a heroic rescue by firefighters (I cried for 6 days straight post 9/11, drank some tea, then cried some more) but actual and fictional acts of great heroism touch me deep inside. I think part of it is that I want to believe that I had the capacity to make such s strong self sacrifice for others, but also secretly hope I am never tested in that regard. My emotional attachment to such moments span from a a gun shooting where a young athlete found a small child alone and scared, covered him with his own body, and took a bullet to watching the Iron Giant fly into a atomic bomb to save the town below, smiling as he did it as it made him feel like superman...

Irony: Vin Diesel is in two of the movies I mention above…

Shit, now I’m crying again.

Before I short out my laptop, here are a couple more “Made me cry moments”

The end of Star Trek II

The entire 6 hours of the Star Wars prequel trilogy (nope, not in a good way, more of a raped my youth way)

Baseball movies like Field of Dreams and The Natural… Mostly because I never got to know how it felt to have a game of catch with my dad… and it looked really nice… or so I have heard… from guys who’s dads did that when they where young… I just got to pull weeds…

Next time… An Idiots guide to dealing with Daddy issues!

I want to live in Texas

I swore I would never utter those words. To me and my totally biased distorted views, Texas is the birth place of “W”, the cradle of gun toting hicks, and the place from hence all evil springs eternal in America… OK maybe not all evil, let us not forget about Alabama…

But when I heard that a Texas theatre was going to show a classic trek film (THE WRATH OF KHAN) but instead inserted the new Star Trek Film instead, and lucky Trek fans where able to get a sneak peak 1 month early, I thought about joining the LONE STAR state.

It seems Leonard “SPOCK” Nimoy helped make the switch to see crowd reaction to the film and reward some true TREK fans…

The thing that bothers me as a Trek fan myself, is that they held this in Texas. Trek fans are all over the world and the best we could do was Texas?

My favorite quote from one moviegoer, “My pants melted off!” Now I know to “double Khaki” myself when I see it in May. Thanks Jeb.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Coolest April Fools Ever!!!

As reported on creates the awesomest April Fools joke ever.

But sometimes even a good joke can backfire in unexpected ways, and that’s what happened to the wisenheimers over at, who announced a fake product that it turned out everybody wanted.

Star Wars fans—and they are still legion, despite over 20 years of nonstop setbacks—fondly remember a sequence in The Empire Strikes Back on the planet Hoth, an arid wasteland characterized by deadly sub-freezing temperatures. In order to save Luke Skywalker from certain death, Hans Solo carves opens the dead carcass of a Tauntaun (described on the Star Wars “Wookieepedia” as an “omnivorous reptomammal” that the Rebel Alliance used for transport) with his Lightsaber and tucks his little buddy inside. Sure, it stinks to high heaven, but nestled under the Tauntaun’s thick skin and warm intestines, Luke is saved from a grim fate.

ThinkGeek’s April Fool’s joke was the unveiling of the Tauntaun sleeping bag, a plush replica of the beast featuring a “built-in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow,” “a glowing Lightsaber zipper pull,” and “the exact synthetic compounds needed to recreate Tauntaun fur.” Funny, right? Because who would want to sleep inside an animal’s smelly intestines? Answer: The many, many people eager to fork out $39.99, that’s who!

In response to the overwhelming demand for this made-up product, ThinkGeek has posted the following:

ATTN Tauntaun Fanatics! Due to an overwhelming tsunami of requests from YOU THE PEOPLE, we have decided to TRY and bring this to life. We have no clue if the suits at Lucasfilms will grant little ThinkGeek a license, nor do we know how much it would ultimately retail for. But if you are interested in ever owning one of these, click the link below and we'll try!

That link?

I thought the Superman sleeping bag I had when I was 5 kicked ass. I totally want one of these!!!