Thursday, September 4, 2008

REVIEW - Clone Wars - more like Colon Wars.

So even with all the bad press I decided the kids and I would see this film. I did not expect much but I figured being both Star Wars and Animated, my two girls, age 5 and 3, might enjoy it since there was nothing else “Kid Worthy” at the theatre. I WAS WRONG!

I have seen many films geared towards kids that are also very entertaining for adults. I think of how much I enjoyed most Pixar films and even Shrek (1 and 2 mostly). So it is with no reservation that I say here and now, this movie sucked. Sucked… Sucked…

Why you ask? Well let me break this into the many facets that describe the total “SUCKAGE” of this film.

1. The story was terrible. Even for Star Wars… it lacked any depth, character, or charm. It took characters we have come to know very well and just turned them on their heads.
2. It includes Jabba the Hutt’s little baby Hutt! Nuff said there.
3. For a feature film at a theatre oth me and my girls prefer the Clone Wars animated series from Cartoon Network. The quality of the voices, animation, even the few and rare action scenes were just sub par based on what we know can be done in the Star Wars universe.
4. Jabba’s baby people! Not to mention an effeminate Hutt uncle who looks like Ringo Star and a Gremlin (Post eating after midnight) had a baby.
5. A crappy score, mediocre acting, and above all the need to bring in 100000000 new characters if only to merchandise the toys for them.

I have to say that when I read EW gave this a full on “F”, I still thought it may be something my kids would enjoy and buy me some peace for an hour and 15 minutes. But in the words of a 5 year old after seeing the movie… “Uh, can we go watch Spongebob now”

Clone Wars gets an F from me as well simply because I know there are great Star Wars stories out there that deserve a film. Even though the Clone Wars is a gap in the universe that can be explored, I wonder why that seems to be we must explore it… At least in the eyes of George and Company…

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