The recent talk about Star Wars: Clone Wars has inspired me to revive my patent-pending Schneider Scale® for my inaugural post. That of course refers to Rob Schneider, the least funny and talented actor alive, and possibly of all time. The man makes Keanu Reeves and Sylvester Stallone look like Oscar contenders by comparison.
And through what must be either some serious magic or a pact with Lucifer, he still manages to get parts and even starring roles. Yes, people are paying him millions to make these horrible movies. It's a mystery that even the Large Hadron Collider may not be able to solve.
The Schneider Scale® uses the ratings on the web site Rotten Tomatoes, which rates movies by the percentage of critics who liked it. It's not perfect. For example, the greatest movie ever only received a 74%. But it's a good guideline.
And 74% still ain't bad. Rob Schneider would love a 74%. Out of the 19 movies he's acted in, he's never managed to break the 50% mark. Only 3 of the 19 even managed to win over 1 of 3 critics. His average is 21%. I challenge you to find an actor with a worse track record.
The new Star Wars animated movie, as abysmal as it reportedly was (I've yet to see it) still managed a 20%, beating nearly half of all Schneider's movies.
That gives The Clone Wars a Schneider Scale® rating of 47%, meaning it's better than 47% of all Rob Schneider movies.